Quick Summary:
The book Mindset was written to answer the question, what is different about those individuals who fulfill their potential versus those who do not? The author concludes the key differentiator is a person’s mindset. Mindset is about how you frame your experiences. As people, we can adopt one of two mindsets-- the Fixed Mindset, where you avoid challenges, give up when faced with obstacles, see effort as a something to be avoided, ignore feedback, and feel threatened by the success of others, or the Growth Mindset, where you embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, see effort as the path to mastery, see criticism or failure as the opportunity to learn, and find joy in the success of others.
In a fixed mindset, you believe capabilities are carved in stone, whereas in a growth mindset, you believe capabilities are cultivated.
Key Insights:
Adopting a Growth Mindset is paramount, because the mindset you adopt profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It’s simply not possible to accomplish your purpose in a fulfilling way when operating out of a fixed mindset.
- We have to pay attention to our thoughts and beliefs. The thoughts we create and the beliefs we adopt evidence the mindset we are operating from. In order to escape the fixed mindset, we must have the ability to identify the fixed mindset (in ourselves and in others), and then reframe our interpretation of the event in light of a growth mindset. Often this is done by asking great questions.
- As parents, we need to insure that we discipline and instruct our children in ways that evidence a growth mindset in us and cultivate a growth mindset in our children (praising/encouraging effort)
- When we have a fixed mindset, success and failure (or positive/negative feedback) are both unsettling. When you’re given a positive label, you’re afraid of losing it, and when you’re hit with a negative label, you’re afraid of deserving it. Don’t allow failure to measure you to the point that you allow it to define your intelligence or personality, or worse, your self-image or self-worth. Rather, see failure as learning.
Personal Application:
- I will set aside time to replay the days events and insure my interpretation of them is out of a growth mindset.
- In marriage, I will have a right expectation that work is a natural part of building the relationship, not a sign that things are off. I will lovingly encourage a growth mindset in my wife. I will not blame her for my shortcomings.
- In parenting, I will instruct and discipline in ways that encourage effort rather than innate intelligence. I will insure the feedback and discipline is about the behavior and not about the child’s identity. I will resist labeling my children in ways that they may hear and adopt as truth for themselves. I will model a growth mindset for them.
Meaningful Quotes:
It’s tempting to create a world in which we’re perfect. ...But think about it—do you want to never grow? Next time you’re tempted to surround yourself with worshipers, go to church.
Is there something in your past that you think measured you? A test score? A dishonest or callous action? Being fired from a job? Being rejected? Focus on that thing. Feel all the emotions that go with it. Now put it in a growth-mindset perspective. Look honestly at your role in it, but understand that it doesn’t define your intelligence or personality. Instead, ask: What did I (or can I) learn from that experience? How can I use it as a basis for growth? Carry that with you instead.
[when failing]...students with the fixed mindset... maligned their abilities: “I am the stupidest” or “I suck in math.” And many covered these feelings by blaming someone else
human qualities, such as intellectual skills, could be cultivated through effort. And that’s what they were doing—getting smarter. Not only weren’t they discouraged by failure, they didn’t even think they were failing. They thought they were learning.
the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.
Think about someone you know who is steeped in the fixed mindset. Think about how they’re always trying to prove themselves and how they’re supersensitive about being wrong or making mistakes. Did you ever wonder why they were this way? (Are you this way?) Now you can begin to understand why. • Think about someone you know who is skilled in the growth mindset—someone who understands that important qualities can be cultivated. Think about the ways they confront obstacles. Think about the things they do to stretch themselves. What are some ways you might like to change or stretch yourself?
But for children with the growth mindset, success is about stretching themselves. It’s about becoming smarter.
In short, when people believe in fixed traits, they are always in danger of being measured by a failure. It can define them in a permanent way. Smart or talented as they may be, this mindset seems to rob them of their coping resources. When people believe their basic qualities can be developed, failures may still hurt, but failures don’t define them. And if abilities can be expanded—if change and growth are possible—then there are still many paths to success.
The top is where the fixed-mindset people hunger to be, but it’s where many growth-minded people arrive as a by-product of their enthusiasm for what they do.
We praised other students for their effort: “Wow, you got [say] eight right. That’s a really good score. You must have worked really hard.” They were not made to feel that they had some special gift; they were praised for doing what it takes to succeed….Since this was a kind of IQ test, you might say that praising ability lowered the students’ IQs. And that praising their effort raised them.
In the fixed mindset, both positive and negative labels can mess with your mind. When you’re given a positive label, you’re afraid of losing it, and when you’re hit with a negative label, you’re afraid of deserving it.
Praising children’s intelligence harms their motivation and it harms their performance.
...teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning…. Don’t judge. Teach. It’s a learning process.
Next time you’re in a position to discipline, ask yourself, What is the message I’m sending here: I will judge and punish you? Or I will help you think and learn?
A successful student is one whose primary goal is to expand their knowledge and their ways of thinking and investigating the world. They do not see grades as an end in themselves but as means to continue to grow.
Wooden is not complicated. He’s wise and interesting, but not complicated. He’s just a straight-ahead growth-mindset guy who lives by this rule: “You have to apply yourself each day to becoming a little better. By applying yourself to the task of becoming a little better each and every day over a period of time, you will become a lot better.” He didn’t ask for mistake-free games. He didn’t demand that his players never lose. He asked for full preparation and full effort from them. “Did I win? Did I lose? Those are the wrong questions. The correct question is: Did I make my best effort?” If so, he says, “You may be outscored but you will never lose.”
Every word and action from parent to child sends a message. Tomorrow, listen to what you say to your kids and tune in to the messages you sending. Are they messages that say: You have permanent traits and I’m judging them? Or are they messages that say You’re a developing person and I’m interested in your development?
How do you use praise? Remember that praising children’s intelligence or talent, tempting as it is, sends a fixed-mindset message. It makes their confidence and motivation more fragile. Instead, try to focus on the processes they used—their strategies, effort, or choices. Practice working the process praise into your interactions with your children.
... people keep a running account of what’s happening to them, what it means, and what they should do. In other words, our minds are constantly monitoring and interpreting. That’s just how we stay on track. But sometimes the interpretation process goes awry. Some people put more extreme interpretations on things that happen— and then react with exaggerated feelings of anxiety, depression, or anger. Or superiority. Mindsets frame the running account that’s taking place in people’s heads. They guide the whole interpretation process. The fixed mindset creates an internal monologue that is focused on judging: “This means I’m a loser.” “This means I’m a better person than they are.” “This means I’m a bad husband.” “This means my partner is selfish.” In several studies, we probed the way people with a fixed mindset dealt with information they were receiving. We found that they put a very strong evaluation on each and every piece of information. Something good led to a very strong positive label and something bad led to a very strong negative label. People with a growth mindset are also constantly monitoring what’s going on, but their internal monologue is not about judging themselves and others in this way. Certainly they’re sensitive to positive and negative information, but they’re attuned to its implications.
